Blog 46 – As Serious As…

 

 

Let’s review our 44th episode of Franks and Beans in a series of four screen shots:
As Serious As screen shot 02

 

Screen shot 1: Jeff accuses Larry of stealing his things.  This is because it’s widely known that Larry is a dirty thief.*

[*THIS is known as slander.  Or is it libel?  Let me look it up.  Okay, libel is when it’s written, so this is libel.  Though I also say it quite often, so it’s probably best to toss slander in there, too.  This distinction isn’t really that big of a deal, since Larry is also illiterate and he doesn’t actually listen to anything I say, so I’m probably in the clear as far as all this goes.]

Through the course of events, I get really angry, kind of swear and fall down dead of a heart attack.

Screen Shot 2014-04-13 at 12.12.41 AM

OR DO I?

Screen shot 2: IT’S A JOKE!  What a funny trick to play on your friend: pretend you are dying, slipping the mortal coil, and just when your friend has expressed human compassion and concern, reveal that you are in fact not dying and will probably never die.  This also works well on significant others and while playing in an athletic competition.

My well-conceived joke, however, backfires, as my startling revelation induces the same heart attack-like symptoms in Larry.  In what can only be described as REAL irony (not NOT irony), my fake heart attack gives Larry a real heart attack.

As Serious As screen shot 03

OR DOES IT?

Screen shot 3: In what can only be described as a sequence of events too shocking for words…or, I guess just shocking enough for a few chosen words, we pull the heart attack trick out AGAIN, as Larry’s joke causes a real, true heart attack in Jeff.  But we’ve seen this before, haven’t we?  Jeff must be taking the joke one step further, and the only conclusion we can make is that this episode will continue forever and ever in a continuous stream of fake heart attack after fake heart attack, each one more realistic than the next, as Franks and Beans becomes the first real-time, continuously and forever airing show on the Internet, an historic, awe-inspiring and groundbreaking event that will live on for eternity.

As Serious As screen shot 04
Screen shot 4: Or, Jeff actually dies and the episode is over.  I LIKE THIS ENDING THE BEST!  Here at Franks and Beans, we like to end episodes when you most expect it.  Or least expect it.  Here at Franks and Beans, we end episodes as opposed to never ending them.  This is a good example of that.

As Serious As screen shot 05

Our “NO!” ending for this episode features Larry saying “No!”  He also has the Olympic spirit.  See you next time for “Long Distance!”

 

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Someone bought FranksandBeans.com. It wasn’t us.

Franks and Beans fake logo

A few years ago, before we bought the domain franksandbeansonline.com, Larry and I looked into buying the more obvious name of franksandbeans.com.  It probably doesn’t take too much thought to figure out why we didn’t buy that particular name: it was expensive.  REALLY expensive.  Like $18,000 a year expensive.  And so franksandbeansonline.com was brought into existence, and franksandbeans.com sat unused for years and years.

But then someone bought it and turned it into a site with pictures of girls on it.  That’s fine, of course, but I have to at least say that it’s a strange use of the domain.  Is it a desirable domain name?  Do people wander over there and click on the ads?  I have no idea.

Franks and Beans Ghostbusters

Interestingly enough, franksandbeans.com isn’t even porn.  It’s good looking girls, often in skimpy outfits, but that’s about it.  Porn, I could get.  Heck, that goes without saying (…ladies).  I suppose we’ll see if this experiment lasts, as that 18 grand (if that’s indeed what the name went for) is real money.  But hey, maybe we’ll have some cross promotions in our future.  Reach out, franksandbeans.com, and send us a line.  Heck, look at all of this free promotion that you’re already getting!

My favorite part of the website is the page dedicated to the privacy policy:

Screen Shot 2014-02-26 at 12.22.09 AM

 

Nice.